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Some call Dufus News' editorials stupid, crazy, ridiculous, silly, goofy or outrageous. Others find them not only informative, but also mildly insightful. And our hard-core supporters think there's nothing better in the world than Dufus News, especially after a long session of massage therapy and a heavy dose of Thorazine.
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8-22-10 "Daisy, Daisy...Give Me Your Answer Do......"
Daisy Khan, executive director of ASMA (the American Society for Muslim Advancement) and wife of Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf - not surprisingly - is a major advocate and force behind the building of a Muslim community center and mosque near Ground Zero. She likes to claim that her organization is merely attempting to promote "peace and understanding" between Muslims and non-Muslims and continuously laments, "when will Muslims be accepted?". She accuses those opposed to building a mosque near Ground Zero as being "misinformed" or worse, "religious bigots" who are trying to deny Muslims of their constitutional rights.
In answer to Daisy's question, "when will Muslims be accepted?", I offer this: probably sometime after they stop going around the world blowing up s**t! And not until they stop flogging and stoning their women for violating archaic and barbaric Islamic laws. Or maybe soon after they stop strapping dynamite vests to their children so they can claim having a martyr in the family. Just a guess.
Now I have a question for you, Daisy. If this proposed mosque and community center is so dedicated to "peace and understanding", how's it all going so far? Hmmmm? What evidence do you see after gauging most American's response to your little Islamic fun center of growing peace and understanding? Maybe it wasn't such a hot idea, after all. Or maybe, you have another agenda in mind. Regardless, until that great day of peace and understanding arrives, I prefer to exercise my constitutional right to tell you to hop off to Mecca and f**k yourself!
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Flying High On Air Hysteria
LaFong
Sure, if I were a woman, this is who I would choose for a role model. Nancy is living proof that even the dippiest female in the Universe can make it big if she pops enough hormones and hangs around long enough. And it doesn't hurt that she hails from San Francisco; world renown for it's exceptional tolerance of the unusual, the bizzare.
I listened to Nancy Pelosi today...the battery went out in my remote and I was stuck. As I fumbled about trying to replace the battery and change the channel, I became aware that this lady just wasn't right. "Damn," I thought aloud, watching her wide-eyed manic performance and attempting to fit the pieces of her scattered nonsensical blather together into some semblance of a rational thought. "I think she's saying something about the health care bill." But she might as well have been reading recipes for tuna cassaroles for all the good it was doing her. She stuttered and paused, started and stopped, sputtered, even drooled before finally spitting out a perceptable sentence or two. "Yep, something about health care, I think."
In another life, I was once a mental health counselor who spent many years doing emergency mental status exams on people far less screwed up than our Speaker Of The House. There are many fancy new psychological labels and catagories that could convincingly apply to Nancy, but one, antiquated tag seems best: "hysterical." She has to be the type of woman Freud was looking at when he thought up the concept describing when emotions overpower the ability to think, when the "womb wanders" and clouds rational perception. Yeah, sexist, I know...but far kinder than my second choice: "Chronic Crazy Bitch".
Sleep well, America.
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Obesity: A Nice Word For Fat Slob
Tomy Labo LaFong
Michelle Obama announced her new "Get Movin'" campaign to address the growng problem of childhood obesity. According to the latest statistics, one third of our nation's children, ages 8 - 17, are considered "obese". Don't ask me where these "statistics" come from or exactly what "obese" means. However, assuming that Michelle Obama is to be our children's role model for a svelte life style, "obese" must be a category just below "fire up the fork lift, Ma...I think I'm sitting on the cat."
"Get Movin'? Get movin' where? Michelle looks intent on gettin' somewhere in a hurry. McDonalds? Burger King? Hopefully, she's headed to her Stair Master to work on those buns.
Doesn't anyone give some credit to our kids? Don't you think they can read the hypocrisy here? What earthly good does it do to allow a bunch of fat a** hedonistic politicos to tell THEM to "get movin'", lose some weight, live a healthy life? You know: do as I say, not as I do.
On behalf of all the overweight kids in our country, let me proclaim to Michelle and her "get movin'" minions: "pi** off, Porky...I'd rather eat pie!" |
Pablum, Anyone?
by
Tomy Labo LaFong
In a way it is quite sad to hear all the complaints blowing in from the far left over President Obama's seeming lack of decisiveness and resolve. To date, he has failed to deliver on pretty much all of his campaign promises to his "loyal" base. Many of these supporters; however, are very young, jumping into the political cluster f**k we laughing ly refer to as a presidential election, for the first time. And being neophytes to the fray, they now deeply wish they could take some magic bath and regain their virginity.
Well, too late, boys and girls. Your idealistic cherries now belong to history and your collective hairless a**es belong to whatever lying sack of crap power structure YOU helped put in place. Welcome to the adult world of dashed hopes, disenchantment and disillusionment!
Don't you get it? All that flowery rhetoric that got you so fired up and filled with hope was nothing more than bland political Pablum methodically designed to draw you in, sustain you just long enough to vote, then suck you dry.
Face it, children. You f**ked up. You trusted him.
Pablum, anyone?
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